External seeking = Internal loss

5 Daily Habits that work for me.png

Guest Post by Tracey Gillis-Sinclair of Wisdom to Wellness


My Why?

The new millennium gifted me with a child… a beautiful baby boy, it was a time, that society told me it should be a heart opening time, to be honest, those first few months left me feeling inadequate, lost and confused.

Who am I now? How do I protect this precious child to survive in the world + the weight I felt in the moments where I was desperate for freedom.

The chemical connection was strong; but just as strong were the demands I had placed upon myself as a woman and mother. We needed to buy a home, that I should have lost all of my baby weight that the women in those magazines I had a few minutes to view every now and then, had; so why was it so difficult for me? There must be something fundamentally wrong with me!

It took me a few months for this cloud of expectation to drop and I was able to feel a real connection with my precious baby boy. Ohhh how it has taken me a long time for the weight of this guilt to release its grip on me. 

6 years later we were gifted with a precious daughter and a beautiful surprise 3 years later in another divine daughter.

I had always had a feeling that I was drawn to this work, but my self talk combined with the need I had to be loved + seen as worthy kept me in the guilt, not enough. I was lonely and my feminine spirit was almost extinct. This very reality was centered around abandonment issues, I had of not being good enough.

unnamed.png

I had these fears that were causing me to panic, these fears centered around acceptance, worth, love + expression and this is exactly what led me to the concept of being with the discomfort. I had to try something different to the resistance I had spent many of my vital years pursuing.

My example of womanhood was to put everyone else’s needs before my own, that in order for me to be happy it was vital that others were to be happy first.

Boundaries were this strange feeling I got when someone did something I didn’t particularly like or approve of, but I had no idea or vocabulary on what this was. So I figured out the best way to handle these feelings was to minimize my exposure to them or to allow the other person to do what they wanted. This left me confused, alone and feeling shattered.

At the age of 35, I was shaken awake, and it is literally what it felt like! This moment was the beginning of my journey home, the pure spirit I was as a newborn. 

I had to ‘be with’ these feelings that had everything to do with not being with them.

I had to learn what value there was in taking a step inward + allowing the truth of me, the space to be witnessed.

I began to have greater visibility of who I was and how I needed to be in the world. It was real, authentic, and expressive. The logic mind does not understand this the ways of the heart and we have to quiet the mind. 

My Tips to quiet the mind:

  • Be in nature – allow your essence to have a space in our life. Connect with the aspect of you that thrives on being

  • Be curious about what is in the mind – being curious, is about leaning gently into those thoughts you are having. What are they about, when did they begin, what was happening at the time.

  • Explore through journal, dance, art – expressing ourselves in any way we can , benefits us, it allows our emotions the space to move, it brings joy, it reminds our beautiful, plastic brains that there is another way. 


Daring to be with that which is not comfortable, what I know for sure is that the more we push down what is true for us, the more we push down our joy, sadness, guilt, grief our curiosity and keep them small for what we believe to be a more comfortable state for us to be in, we are just dimming our own light. We are keeping ourselves small. Because what I know to be true is that these emotions are here as an expression of who we really are and only when we judge them do the limit us.


As a life journey coach and Kinesiologist, my own experiences of stuffing my emotions down and keeping them small. I learnt that this is where the gold is, the gold lies within the exploration of what it is we are trying to keep small. When we understand what we are trying to keep small, we are gifted with a beautiful opportunity to understand ourselves a little better. And when we understand ourselves better, we bring an awareness in that we simply cant ignore.


Before I woke up, I would say to our extremely anxious son, ‘oh that wont happen, there is no need to worry about that, I promise you that wont be your reality, try not to think about it’. Was the very moment I learned the skill of learning to be with and get curious about this very discomfort. This moment changed my life completely. 

For those of you who know me, know that small talk or top level conversation is something Im not very strong with; these things I struggle with. I am all about depth; I am all about nurturing these emotions that keep us small. What I know to be true is that when we allow our feelings space we give ourselves a beautiful opportunity to discover something really important about ourselves.

Creating Holistic Success

5 Daily Habits that work for me.png

Creating Holistic Success

Look around your current work environment. What kind of messaging are you receiving about success? Is there anything encouraging you to take care of yourself?

If there is, MAJOR props. Feel free to send my stamp of approval to your boss (which for most of you are YOU!) 

Unfortunately, many of us are surrounded by messaging of the opposite kind. That success means you sacrifice your time, health, spirit, and sometimes even your soul. This idea permeates a lot of modern, workaholic culture. 


How many of these narratives do you recognize? 

  • The famous artist (musician, actress, etc.) that jumps from partner to partner, and has a crappy love life

  • The type-A business mogul who has a full bank account but their health is in terrible condition 

  • The doctor who doesn’t take the advice he gives his own patients and neglects his own health

  • The parent of 3 kids who provides for their family but has nothing that really excites them anymore

  • The soulless millionaire who pushed everyone down to get where they were going

These are common models of THE COST of success that we are fed on a daily basis. They are in our newspapers, gossip columns, and hanging on our lips. We love these stories because they are simple and a bit tragic. 

The message? You have to be willing to SACRIFICE EVERYTHING for the things you gain. 

But I disagree. Because a lot of time THESE stories are spun for entertainment. That is not the purpose of a real human life. 

Your life is to be lived FOR YOU. 

There is no montage. There is no tragically beautiful spin. Quite often, life is just the “boring stuff” in the middle, not a movie or E! True Hollywood Story. 

You are allowed to exit this narrative and discard the old stories and beliefs that no longer serve you!

So, lets flip it…

What if instead of sacrifice, you thought of it as an investment?

What if you monitored your investments ACROSS THE BOARD?

It is my firm belief that we don’t have to choose just one major area in our life to thrive (to hell with the rest!)

We can choose to model a new type of success. 


What could this look like for our previous examples? 

  • The famous artist who sets boundaries around their work and relationships so as to protect the value that both bring to their life

  • The type- A business mogul who starts every day with a healthy breakfast, meditation, and movement because they know it will only make them stronger in their work

  • The doctor who finds creative ways to put their needs first so they can serve their patients EVEN BETTER and lead by example

  • The parent of 3 who shows their kids how beneficial it is to make time for what they love in life and they DO IT TOGETHER! 

  • The millionaire who leads their life from a place of abundance rather than fear of lack (which previously resulted in a need to FIGHT and compete for what they saw as limited) Success is open to all. 


So answer this…

  1. Which old model do you relate to the most? 

  2. How can you make the switch to bringing in more holistic success?

  3. How can you invest in your well-being? (BIG dreams included, my friend)


Comment below and let’s discuss! 

This was originally published as a part of my weekly newsletter. If you want this soulful kind of content sent directly to you, sign up at the button below AND get a FREE meditation to support your self-care!

Bright Gems: Jessica Demunck

 

Jessica Demunck is a Life Coach, Teacher and Storyteller who supports young women to understand the story of their lives, embrace their innate authenticity and take back authorship. She believes that stories have the power to both inspire and heal, and is on a mission to empower others through this powerful modality.

It was my honor to connect with Jessica through the Beautiful You Life Coaching Academy. With a love of meditation, authenticity, and breaking through the old stories, I could tell we had a lot in common.

Here is a beautiful heart to heart from this brightly shining gem! 

 

1.     Rare Gem is all about our innate worthiness and celebrating what is different about us! Tell me something unique about you? 

Everything I do and everything I am is unique. There is no other soul on this planet that lives, breaths, thinks and responds to the world as I do. There are things that I do that are quirky and not overly common, however, my uniqueness is inherent and not dependent on these. Each of us is created from an exceptionally different and individual blueprint, and that alone is worthy of celebration!

 

2.     What started you on your personal growth journey? 

I have always been interested in human behavior and our inner lives, however, it wasn’t until my own inner world was turned upside down that my deep growth work began. Let me tell you my story…

In 2013, I hit rock bottom. I was entering my final year of University studying Primary School Teaching. Back then, I was pretty carefree. That was until, all at once it seemed, the pressures of my final year and a fallout with my long-time bestie shook my world as I knew it. I started experiencing intense panic attacks that would see me crying for days on end. I was diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder, referred to a psychologist and put on medication. The next 3 years saw me on and off the same anxiety medication, in and out of panic spirals and my self-belief and confidence plummet.

That was until I came across the concepts of self-love, self-compassion and the idea of re-writing your story. Seemingly overnight I was hooked! I immersed myself in all things personal development, spirituality and self-love. I was taking back authorship and re-writing the story of my life, little by little. Sure, there were (and still are) moments of worry and panic, but they became fewer and far between, and I could bounce back quicker than before. Nowadays I can say with total conviction and knowing, that I love who I am authentically and am totally confident in speaking my honest truth.

 

3.     What are your go-to spiritual/self-care practices? 

·       Meditation daily. 

·       Remembering both my mortality and my divinity. 

·       Deep breathing

·       Grounding

·       Sleep

 

4.     How do you stay in your own lane/keep focused on you?

When I am creating something new, writing a blog post or nearing a session with a client- I switch off from all social media and TV as much as possible. This helps me to focus on my ideas and perspectives, rather than become entangled with or compare myself to those of others. 

I also remind myself that everybody is human and nobody has or is anything more special than I am. Remembering that the accomplishments and achievements of others don’t mean anything about my own, helps me to celebrate them without experiencing jealousy or comparison.  

 

5.     What is a book that has completely changed your life? 

At a time when I was overwhelmed with anxiety and considering another dose of medication and another visit to the psychologist, a friend gifted me Mastering Your Mean Girl by Melissa Ambrosini. Reading that book changed my perspective on life, love and our own internal strength. It changed everything and I’ve now lost count of the number of people I’ve recommended it to. Since then, I’ve read many more life changing books- however, I honestly believe that I owe that text my life because in essence, it bought life back to me. 

 

6.     What keeps you shining bright and showing up fully in the world? 

Curiosity. The promise of learning. Awe. Gratitude for my life. Wonder. 

 

7.     What is the number 1 tip you have for realizing your BIG dreams? 

Self-love. If you don’t love yourself or back yourself, it makes it difficult for others to. Remembering your innate worth and importance is the number 1 tool for creating a life of purpose, passion and realized dreams.  

 

8.     How do stay connected to yourself and to source? 

By spending time alone. As an introvert this isn’t difficult for me to do, however, for many the temptation is constantly there to organize catch ups, be on our phones or be engulfed in some form of entertainment. I feel most connected to myself and to Source when I slow down, spend time alone and spend time in silence. It’s free and it’s easy- if we let it be. 

 

9.     If you could be any gemstone, which would you be and why? 

Jade. My Grandmother died when I was only young and I was given a piece of Jade that was hers. By all accounts she was a beautiful soul, and in my mind, Jade is linked with her. Jade is also my favourite name, and I just love the colour. 

I've attached a photo that you can use, as well as my professional bio. Let me know if there is anything else you need or want me to change.

Thank you so much for allowing me to share my message on your platform, and thank you so much again for being on mine!

 

Jessica Demunck: https://www.jessicademunck.com

5 Daily Self-Care Habits That Work For Me

5 Daily Habits that work for me.jpg

I would like to preface this post with a major disclaimer. Self-care is NOT a one size fits all deal. I've spent many years trying to squeeze myself into other people's wellness molds and feeling like a failure. But letting my inner mean girl tear me down is NOT self-care. 

What works for one, may not for another. And that's okay!!! This journey is about loving and accepting what works for YOU! 

For example, I have dealt with a chronic illness for most of my life. Sometimes, when I want to bail on the gym, it's to protect my health and energy. Sometimes, when I want to bail not the gym it's really my inner fit thrower coming out to play. 

How do you know which is which? That's when you need to tune in deeper to yourself and ask yourself,

 

"What do I NEED?"

If you need some assistance with this, you can get my FREE meditation HERE

 

Also, I don't ALWAYS do these ALL of these EVERY day! Whereas consistency does help when building a habit, the reality is, you are human. Some days, you might only do one of your self-care items. Again, that's okay. It's about showing up for yourself and giving yourself what you NEED! 

 

1. Meditation

When major anxiety crept into my daily life, I remember there were days where sitting in meditation was all I could do to feel normal. I started with small increments, just 1 or 2 minutes. But it felt SO good, I started craving 10-15 minutes. Then, I started doing it whenever I first woke up and right before bed. Few things can connect me to my inner self that quickly, allowing the worries and cares to fall away so that I focus on the moment fully. That presence impacts how I show up for the rest of the day and how deeply my body can sink into sleep. And all you need is time, space and breath to get started!

2. Morning Tea or Coffee

There is something SO soothing to me about starting the day with a hot beverage. Personally, I try to switch between coffee and tea so that I'm not overdosing on caffeine (my body is particularly sensitive). But much in the way of meditation time, it allows you a moment to put down your phone, hold the cup between both of your hands, and feel gratitude for the simple pleasures. 

 

IMG_4300.JPG

3. Time to read first thing

I used to consider myself a strong night owl. I still write best at night and tend to be more creative the more I burn the midnight oil. However, my mind learns best first thing in the morning. I love enjoying some quiet time (my introverted spirit) with a good book, absorb the lessons and really dive into soul.

Some of my favorites lately include:

Essentialism by Greg Mckeown

The E Myth by Michael E. Gerber

It's All Good by Cassie-Mendoza Jones

4. Journaling

I've been a journaler since I was a single digit age. It has always gone hand-in-hand with my songwriting. The more I write, reflect, and process through written word, the healthier and happier I feel. A tip I've learned along the way: Your journaling doesn't have to be a story or letter writing style. Sometimes my BEST journaling sessions are just lists! 

5. Checking in with my passion planner. 

Though we have so many digital options these days, there is nothing like physically writing out my week or my month on paper, in ink and with fun stickers!!! The Passion Planner is my current favorite. It allows you to mind map, set weekly and monthly goals and daily intentions, and separate your personal projects from work projects. In addition to that, they have  weekly quotes and life tips. It's a way for me to stay on target with my life/business goals in a way that FEELS good to me. 

 

So there you have it...Now I would love hear YOURS! 

What are YOUR top Self-Care Habits? 

Answer in the comments below! 

Conscious Chats with Jessica Demunck

FB Conscious chats png.png

I was super excited to sit down with Jessica Demunck  for her beautiful interview series, Conscious Chats.

To give you a bit of background, Jessica and I were both graduates of the Beautiful You Coaching Academy class of May 2017, which is how we were able to meet and connect for this chat! 

I could tell immediately we share the strong values of authenticity, stepping into ownership of your life, & living from your internal guidance system. So I hope you love diving in as much as we did!! 

Read More: Click Here!